The best laid plans of mice and men and fundraising runners go all cock-eyed at times.
That is how the quote goes isn't it? It's not? Oh, well it should be, at least as it applies to my life anyway.
As many of you already know, I couldn't make my fundraising target in time in order to keep my 'gold bond' place to run the London Marathon. 'Gutted' is an understatement but sometimes that's just how life goes. You have these great ideas but putting them into practise, despite your very best efforts, sleepless nights, and enough letters posted to singlehandedly keep the Royal Mail afloat, becomes impossible. I seriously underestimated the work, and the cost, involved in raising so much money. For a long time it became the sole focus of my life, to the detriment of everything else including personal finances and health, and eventually I had to grudgingly say 'enough is enough. I'm just not going to make it' and allow that place to go to someone who could.
I haven't given up though, not by a long way. That just isn't in my nature. It may not have been possible to raise the funds in time to take part in the annual madness of thousands of runners pounding the streets of the capital, but that is not the only marathon, it's not the only insane thing I can do. I am still taking very seriously, my promise to raise money for Tommy's in memory of Dillon.
Of course not having a goal for my training has meant I haven't had to drag my carcass out through this evil winter we've just come through unless I really wanted to, so I'm trying to look on the bright side. I need a goal though, I function better with something to focus on and I miss not having that drive to get out there. I've caught the running bug now, (how the hell did that happen?) so I know I can't just put my feet up and relax. Every time I try there is this little voice in my head saying 'and how many miles have you run this week? Hmmm?'
And so I need another target, another goal, I need something to aim for when the mornings are cold and rainy and I don't want to get out of bed. I need to find another challenge.
I still want to run a marathon, that's my ultimate goal. Having said I would do it, I'm not backing down. I promised myself. I promised Dillon. But I'm keeping an open mind too.
So I'm looking for PLAN B.
Now I'm off to dig a big hole in the garden to retreat to while the Marathon is on at the weekend; for the first time I don't think can bring myself to watch it on TV.
Or maybe I'll just go for a nice, long run instead.